


A Measure of Trust

by amidststars



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant Through 114, EreriWritingPrompt13, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21768703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amidststars/pseuds/amidststars
Summary: “You used to tell me I was your hope,” Eren said quietly. “You told me you trusted me, that you’d always trust me.”Levi's jaw clenched. Hadn’t that same thought crossed his mind in the forest? “A lot’s happened since then,” he said instead.For EreriWritingPrompt13: Natsukashii
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 10
Kudos: 123





	A Measure of Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted February 19, 2019.
> 
> This was written immediately after chapter 114 dropped. Needless to say, any canon compliance was tossed out the window with 115, but almost a year later, I still wish something like this would've happened <3
> 
> Thanks to [Aer](https://omglevixeren.tumblr.com) for being such a wonderful beta and helping me work through some tough spots!

_“Get away from there.”_

_Eren merely grinned over his shoulder from his point at the brink of the cliff. “Why? Does it make you nervous?”_

_“No, I just don’t feel like saving your scrawny ass if you fall,” Levi said as he laid down and crossed his arms beneath his head. “I’m comfortable.”_

_The sun had started to dip beneath the horizon, turning the ocean fiery red and painting the sky a mix of orange and pink. Normally, the evening chill gradually creeping in would be enough to drive him back within the walls, to his quarters with its crackling hearth, well-worn armchair, and soothing scent of freshly-brewed tea, but the privacy was nice. It wasn’t often he and Eren were able to get away like this anymore._

_“And how exactly do you expect to save me when you’re not even wearing your gear?”_

_“I’m just that good, I suppose,” Levi said, lifting one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug._

_Eren snorted. “No one’s_ that _good.”_

_“Funny… that’s not what you said thirty minutes ago.”_

_Silence was the only answer he received, and Levi briefly wondered if he'd gone too far with his teasing. Then Eren appeared overhead, smiling down at him. The wind had its fingers in his hair, and those blue-green eyes stood out even more than usual, silhouetted by the sky as he was. Between that and the way the last rays of sunlight highlighted his skin a rich bronze, he looked downright ethereal._

_“I’d be fine, you know. Even from this height,” Eren reassured. “I’ve survived worse.”_

_“That doesn’t mean I’d like to test it.” Pulling one arm free, Levi flicked the nearby pile of clothes and ODM gear. He’d tugged on his underwear and pants once they’d finished, but that was as far as he got. “I’m not ready to sort out all this shit yet, either, so stop prancing around like an idiot.”_

_“Prancing… you mean like this?” Eren skipped out of reach before Levi could grab his ankle. Chuckling, he drifted closer to the edge._

_“Eren,” he warned._

_“It’s really not that bad. I think the danger makes the view even better.” Eren returned to capture Levi’s free hand, tugging lightly. “Here, come try it.”_

_Instead, Levi gave a returning yank that threw Eren off balance and had him toppling forward to sprawl across his chest. “Not a chance,” he said as Eren squirmed for a moment, struggling to regain his bearings._

_Once he’d managed to prop himself up on one hand, Eren flashed a playful smile, and Levi’s fingers skimmed up and down the length of his spine in response, warm against that sun-kissed skin. He closed his eyes as Eren leaned down to nose along his jaw, over and up to the sensitive spot behind his ear, and when he caught the lobe between his teeth, Levi exhaled long and slow._

_“I promise nothing bad will happen,” Eren whispered. He pressed his lips to Levi’s cheek, and the kiss was cold where the wind blew across his skin. “Do you trust me?”_

* * *

Levi opened his eyes.

The soft, sleepy colors of dusk were gone, replaced by the harsh midday sun streaming in through the window. Still feeling a bit dazed, it took a second to fully register his surroundings. The ceiling with its exposed wooden beams, the coals glowing in the hearth, the sheets and pillowcase that still smelled faintly of the crisp outdoor air where they’d line dried, distant voices from somewhere else in the house. And the pain. Oh, the pain, like a knife twisting in his gut when he tried to sit up.

“Fuck,” he ground out, falling back onto the bed.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”

Levi jerked at the unexpected voice, and another wave of pain curled through his stomach, leaving him nauseous. He found the figure, though, sitting in a chair that had been tucked into the shadows of the room. The suspicious nature of it all would have put him more on edge had he not recognized the voice.

“Eren,” he said.

“Hello, Levi.” Across the room, Eren leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees, and the low-burning coals threw his features into sharp relief. His eyes well near glowed in the muted light. It was eerily reminiscent of that evening atop the oceanside cliffs. “You’ve looked better.”

Struck by a sense of déjà vu so strong it felt like whiplash, Levi rested his head on the downy pillow and stared at the ceiling. “I’ve felt better,” he said. “Care to enlighten me on what happened?”

“I was hoping you could tell me.”

The wooden beams blurred away, and Levi squeezed his eyes shut. Screaming and the jolt of electricity skittering along his nerves that accompanied a transformation. Blood on his face, then rain, then heat, then water. So much water he could barely _breathe_. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to forget how seamlessly the river had closed over his head.

“Zeke tried to escape,” he said simply, although the reality of their confrontation had been anything but. “I took him down. After a while, he tried again and…”

“Considering we found you half-dead in the river, I’m guessing things didn’t go as smoothly the second time around,” Eren supplied.

Levi gingerly felt out the bandage wrapped around his torso. A thickly padded spot above his ribs identified the actual wound, and he vaguely recalled that intense pain immediately after the explosion. At first, he’d thought it to be shrapnel from the wagon, but it seemed he’d been skewered by his own blade instead. How ironic.

“No,” he said, fingering the edge of the dressing. “Not quite.”

Eren’s brows drew together in a slight furrow. There were a hundred questions written across his face, but the only one he managed to get out was a tentative, “Is he alive?”

Reiner had wormed his way out of several seemingly fatal blows back in Shiganshina. If there was even a single vital piece of Zeke left intact after the Thunder Spear detonated, it was likely he’d recover, but he’d been borderline delirious in those final moments. Who knew if he had the wherewithal to save himself?

“I don’t know.”

Part of Levi hoped Zeke had died then and there, alone in that field. After everything he’d done, it was no more than the twisted bastard deserved. But he also had a score to settle. It wasn’t just about his promise to Erwin anymore. Things were personal now. And yet…

Levi inhaled as deeply as the wound allowed. He was so god damn tired. How long had he been fighting now? Ten years for the Survey Corp? Every single day before that in the Underground? He was ready for it to be over. They were nearing the end now, though. Had to be. Just a little more fighting, a little more of his life to give. _Your heart and soul to the cause_. Erwin had said it so many times.

Turning away, Levi stared out the window. There were no distinguishing landmarks or buildings he could make out. Maybe the rooftop of another house, but that didn’t tell him how far he’d floated downriver or where Eren might have hauled him after fishing him out of the water. He didn’t even know how long he’d been unconscious.

“He's alive,” Eren said, more to himself than anything, eyes fixed unseeingly on the floor. “At least, I’m pretty sure he is.”

“Fantastic,” Levi quipped. “Good for him.”

He didn't know how Eren knew that - probably the paths or whatever they called it - he just knew he didn't want to talk about Zeke anymore. Honestly, he didn't want to talk about anything at all, but the odds of getting away with that were slim to none. He needed information anyway.

“So are you going to tell me where the fuck I am?” When Eren pursed his lips, Levi nodded. “Of course you’re not.”

He huffed and drew his elbows beneath his shoulders in an attempt to sit up. For the first time since he’d awoken, Eren reacted with something other than blank apathy. He jerked like he’d been stung and shot to his feet, took one uncertain step forward.

“Levi—” he began, but Levi cut him short with a sharp look.

Gritting his teeth, he continued on, stubbornly leaned to the side, got one hand on the mattress. He managed to push up enough to lock one arm before the pain became too much to bear. Stuck halfway, he remained there for a second, trembling slightly with the effort. Then his elbow gave out, and he flopped back onto the bed with a strained hiss, vision swimming black around the edges.

“Levi, please,” Eren tried again. “I know you recover faster than others, but it still takes time. Best thing you can do right now is rest.”

A bright red patch had appeared through the bandage, and Levi stared at it, pointedly ignoring Eren. He briefly considered trying again out of spite. He didn’t want to hear Eren talk to him like that, didn’t want to hear the concern in his voice. However, the nausea had returned in full force to keep company with his lightheadedness. At this point, the only thing worse than following Eren’s request would be passing out while trying to go against it.

Still avoiding Eren’s gaze, Levi picked at the bandage, biting back a wince when the packing pulled at the wound. “Did you do this?”

“Yes.”

“You shouldn’t have,” he said, matter-of-fact.

Eren blinked in surprise. “You’d rather bleed out than me help you?”

“No, I’d rather bleed out remembering the way things used to be than see what you’ve become with my own eyes.”

_Levi toed the edge of the cliff, nothing but empty air before him and water crashing over the rocks far below. His heart pounded at the rush, the thrill of standing on the brink with no way of saving himself should he fall. But he wasn’t alone. Eren’s chest was firm and warm against his back, arms slung loosely around his hips, chin resting on his shoulder. Every once in a while, he’d press a light kiss to the side of Levi’s neck. Together, they stared out into that blazing sunset, blanketed in the last traces of its light._

In the here and now, Levi shook away the memory. Eren was still hovering in the middle of the room, unsure whether to risk coming closer or return to his chair. When he began to worry his lower lip, Levi had to look away.

“You used to tell me I was your hope,” Eren said quietly. “You told me you trusted me, that you’d always trust me.”

Levi's jaw clenched. Hadn’t that same thought crossed his mind in the forest? “A lot’s happened since then,” he said instead.

“It has,” Eren agreed.

“Things are different. We’re not the same people anymore. You’ve changed, Eren. I’ve changed.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Levi’s attention snapped back to Eren, lip curled in a derisive sneer. “Look, that glorified camping trip wasn’t exactly conducive to keeping up with all the latest gossip, but I heard enough. You escaped prison and murdered Zackly. The so-called Jaeger Faction has taken over everything within the walls. And that doesn’t even get into all the shit with Marley. You killed hundreds of innocent people, including Sasha. You set us on this path. You—”

_Left me._

_You left me._

Clamping his mouth shut, Levi breathed hard through his nose. He watched Eren’s throat bob in a thick swallow, watched the way he pulled the shattered fragments of his control back together and knit them into an unreadable expression, watched the way he lifted his chin resolutely, jaw tight, eyes hard. From his spot on the bed, Levi nodded curtly for the second time.

“Good for you,” he said. “Used to be you would’ve been intimidated and looked away. Maybe gave those sad puppy dog eyes if you felt like wallowing in your own self-pity. At least now you’re firm in your decision, even if it is a shit one.”

“This isn’t me needlessly hurting people,” Eren insisted, shifting closer. “I have a plan.”

Levi snorted. “When have you _ever_ had a plan?”

Eren’s plans consisted of split-second decisions and hoping for the best as he rushed into the fray. Impulsive… that’s what he was. Levi had seen it in the courtroom and on the battlefield, had experienced it personally in who knew how many romantic attempts over the years before he finally gave in.

But then, Eren’s infiltration of Marley had to have taken more than a little planning. He’d crossed the ocean, entered their ranks, and stayed off their radar for months. Not to mention the fact that he’d kept it all a secret beforehand. Level-headedness would never be Eren’s forte, but even Levi had to admit he’d grown up. He wasn’t the same mouthy, brash kid Levi had kicked around in the courtroom. Hadn’t been for some time now. Levi had just missed the point he’d changed along the way.

“I’m not like Erwin or Armin. I’m not a strategist,” Eren said. “But I _do_ have a plan, and until the time is right, sacrifices have to be made.”

Levi regarded Eren carefully. “The end justifies the means.” For someone who thought he wasn’t like Erwin, Eren sounded an awful lot like him.

“Yes, I…”

Eren paused, eyes shooting to the closed door, then he backtracked to the chair, grabbed it, and drug it over to the bedside. Sitting down, he leaned forward to brace his forearms on the mattress. Only a couple inches separated their hands, and Levi’s fingers twitched, curling into the sheet as he stared at the empty space.

“Zeke wants to euthanize all Eldians,” Eren continued in a whisper, drawing Levi’s attention back to their conversation. “He blames everything that’s happened on the fact we exist and wants us to die out, but he needs me to help him do it. I can’t…” Eren shook his head. “I can’t let him get away with that. He thinks our lives are a mistake, but they’re _not_.”

There it was.

There was that fierce look he’d come to know so well, that passion.

But the small dose of familiarity wasn’t enough to wipe away everything else.

“Why bother bringing him back then? Why not just kill him in Liberio and be done with it?” It would’ve saved them so much fucking trouble.

“Because I need him for _my_ plan,” Eren said. “Part of the reason I went to Marley was for answers. I needed to talk to someone who understood the Founding Titan, who knew its abilities and what it was truly capable of. Ever since I inherited this power, I’ve been playing catch-up. Finally, I’m the one who’s a step ahead.”

“And you’re telling me all this now because?” Levi asked, skeptical. “You could’ve said something in your letters or on the airship. You could’ve told Hange when they went to talk to you. Hell, you could’ve told _me_ before you ran off.”

“If I had, would you honestly have let me go?” Eren gave him a sad smile. “I had every intention of telling you the truth once we returned, but you were gone before I had a chance. After that, I had no choice but to follow Zeke’s plan.”

“A plan that almost got me killed. _Did_ kill my entire squad.”

“I knew if anyone could survive that, it would be you,” Eren said even as his smile faded into a guilty expression. “I am sorry, though. I’d hoped to talk to you before it reached that point. Things might’ve turned out differently if I had.”

Levi sighed and shifted his focus to the ceiling again. Foresight would’ve no doubt changed things, but there was little use in dwelling on that now. What was done was done. The mattress jostled a bit, and Levi felt the slightest brush of fingers against the back of his knuckles. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t encourage Eren either, just laid there staring up at the blank rafters.

“I was so scared when we found you. For a minute, I thought… even you…” Eren’s voice caught. He cleared his throat before returning to less emotional territory. “Zeke trusts me. He thinks we’re in agreement about the Eldians, and I have to keep him thinking that if I want everything to work. But I never wanted to do this on my own.”

Somewhere beneath that hollow, world-weary voice was the young boy Levi had first met, a boy convinced of his purpose but frightened of a power he didn’t fully understand, a boy who needed someone to see him as something other than the monster he feared himself to be. He’d been what Eren needed then. Now it was time to do it again, and Levi felt his resistance begin to thaw. Eren had changed, yes, but he was still the same person at the core.

Twisting his hand, Levi caught Eren’s fingers in a loose embrace and peeked at him. “How do I know you’re not feeding me this to get me on your side? How do I know you’re not going to betray me once I’ve let my guard down?”

Eren smiled then, pure and unabashed. It was the first real emotion Levi had seen from him since before he ran off to Marley, and his face grew warm at its sincerity. “Do you trust me?” Eren asked, twining their fingers together more firmly and resting his cheek against their joined hands.

_“I promise nothing bad will happen,” Eren whispered. He pressed his lips to Levi’s cheek, and the kiss was cold where the wind blew across his skin. “Do you trust me?”_

_Levi’s gaze flitted back and forth between Eren’s eyes. “I think standing on the edge of a cliff without gear is stupid.” Eren’s expression fell. However, before his demeanor could deflate too much, Levi cupped his cheek, pulled him closer, and returned the kiss properly. “But I’ll always trust you,” he said._

“Do I trust you…” Levi echoed. “Tch.”

Unwinding their fingers, Levi flicked Eren’s ear before sweeping a thumb across his cheekbone, the corner of his mouth quirking in a hint of a smile. Trust needed to be earned after everything that had happened, but he was willing to give Eren that chance. Had always been willing. Would always be willing. And Eren must have recognized the offering for what it was because he ducked his head in a failed attempt to hide his own hopeful smile.

Levi held out a hand, and Eren helped him sit up, adding a couple more pillows behind him for support. “Alright then,” Levi said once he was propped against the headboard. “Tell me about your plan.”


End file.
